An Experimental Family
by Real Live Fishlegs
Summary: Newly-wed Shego wants to start a family, but her husband is torn between Having children and world conquest. So what happens if Drakken combines both ideas? OCs galore! Kim Possible belongs to Disney. God bless!
1. Prologue: How It Might Have Happened

PROLOGUE

You know, for being a world-class supervillain, Dr. Drakken has turned out to be very heroic. I mean, sure, he's tried world domination for nearly four seasons. And yeah, he mutated himself into a blue-skinned pansy- or was it a marigold? It's hard to tell. But when it came to saving the world, he actually had conceived a foolproof plan. Could he really better at being good than bad? I'm not really sure. And honestly, I don't think he's too sure on it either. Oh well, like father like son I guess. Oh right, I forgot you don't know me yet. But you will in time. Just to be safe, I'll back up and start from the beginning, because some things that happen are really REALLY weird. Oh and there might be a few plot twists here and there- Oh forget it, roll the film please. *ahem* my story begins on a Tuesday, with simple project and a simple question.

"Hey doc, ya busy?" A female voice uttered from behind the hard-working villain.

"Yes Shego, very busy. I've been up all night working on this." Drakken replied, pressing buttons and throwing switches on the lair's massive supercomputer. "Come on, just a little bit more! Almost there-"But as he threw the final switch, the machine rattled before flashing a blue screen and shutting down. Drakken let out a yell and pounded the control panel, and then let out a sigh. "Very well, what is it?"

The green and black clad sidekick hesitated, crossing one leg behind the other, "Well- I-uh- what were you just working on?"

Drakken raised an eyebrow, "You interrupt my work just to ask me about my work? Even for you, that's pretty low. But- since you asked. I was working on my latest project, OPERATION MATRIMONY!" And with that the Doctor let out one of his infamous evil laughs.

"Operation Matrimony?" Shego scoffed, "Like Holy Matrimony? Ya know, till death do us part? That kind of matrimony?"

"No like-" Drakken caught himself, "Yes, like that."

Shego smirked, "Should I really even bother mocking this?"

"Well you didn't bother last year at our wedding." Drakken answered as he folded his arms across his chest. "And besides, this plan is foolproof!"

"Ugh, you had to bring up the wedding? It wasn't even a wedding! The only people who bothered to come were your mom and my brothers. And that was it! No cake, no reception, and no rings!" The moment Shego mentioned the rings, the computer rebooted itself. Drakken quickly seized the opportunity and, after changing one setting, proceeded yet again to throw the main switch. The computer shook violently about, flashing like a meteorite in the atmosphere. And then, within minutes, it stopped. Out of a small chute flew a shiny circular object into Drakken's hand.

"Let's make it official then, shall we?" The mad scientist grinned as he offered Shego the ring.

Shego's eyes widened and almost sparkled for a moment before she reverted to her apathetic attitude, "Eh, it's nice."

"Just nice?" Drakken whined, "But-but I've worked all night on getting this right!"

"No- you worked all night on mind-control rings! Another one of your lame plans to rule the world, this time by enslaving honeymooners!"

Drakken spouted the very first word that came to mind, "Exactly! -er I mean- no- I mean- what would make you think that?"

"I watched you change the settings on your big thing-a-majig. So nice try doc, but not that nice." Shego dropped the ring on the floor and started to walk away.

"But- but- it's twenty-four karat gold! Shego? SHEGO!" Drakken called, but it fell on deaf ears. Shego then left the lair. "You know what? Fine! I'll just-er- I'll rule the world without you!"

I know I know, this looks bad right? Well they're bad guys, so it's supposed to be bad. Besides, this story is about me. And if I'm going to tell it right, I need to include my parents. Sadly, I wasn't born yet, so I'll skip ahead a little. Let see, eventually Drakken stole a real ring from a jeweler. I think he went to Jared, but I'm not sure. Anyway, I'm tired of telling this story for now; I'll fill you in later. But I might as well tell you what Shego really wanted to ask my dad.

"Um, I want to- have a baby."

"Mmhmm, I don't see why not- wait WHAT?"

TO BE CONTINUED... (God-willing if I get off my lazy patootie)


	2. Chapter 1: Cross My Heart And Fingers

Chapter 1

Right, so where was I? Oh yeah, dad stole a ring and gave it to Shego on a dinner date. Turns out she had a little surprise request to ask from the "good" doctor herself.

"So, I guess it's official now, huh?" Shego asked nervously, looking at the ring on her finger, "We're really married."

"Indeed." Drakken smiled, "And it's one of the few plans I had that actually worked."

Shego gave a shallow laugh, "Yeah, I guess it did. Um doc- I- I uh-"

"Please Shego, don't stutter. It's a bad habit. If you have something to say, say it. I'll do my best to listen." This was an unusual statement from Drakken. Normally he'd be the one stuttering while forcing Shego to listen to him rant on about some foolish plan.

Shego took a deep breath, and soon enough these words left her lips, "Um, I want to- have a baby."

"Mmhmm, I don't see why not- wait WHAT?" Drakken almost flew out of his seat. "What did you say? Please tell me you didn't say the b-word!"

"What's wrong with that word, doc?" Shego raised her brow, "I want to have a baby."

"Well- nothing is wrong with it-er-except that there's nothing wrong with it! " Drakken excused himself.

"And that makes no sense whatsoever!" Shego threw her hands in the air, "Doc, we're married, and I want to start a family. What's the big deal?"

Drakken thought carefully. He knew the real reason why he didn't desire children. But still he chose to make up other excuses, "It's just- I don't want to put you through all the hardships of bearing children. Think of it Shego; the nine long months of waiting, the countless hours of labor, the mood swings, the sleeping on the couch-"

"Hold up." Shego interrupted, "Now I can understand all those other things, but why would I be sleeping on the couch?"

"Not you, me." Drakken responded, "A harsh side-effect of your mood swings."

Shego grew frustrated from Drakken's lame remarks, "Oh come on, Dr. D! I don't bite- much! And it'll be worth it! I mean, who's going to take over the world when you and I are too old?"

"As it pains me to say so, you actually have a point." The doctor lowered his countenance, "But I'm not exactly father-material."

"Hello? You're a supervillain doc! Okay, you're not the most successful or super of villains-"

"The point Shego- get to it." Dr. Drakken coldly grumbled.

"I'm saying that you'll make a great father! But- but I think you should take a break from being a villain for a while. I mean- it's not like you can make a child in a machine." Shego gasped and clapped her hand over her mouth.

As the words floated into Drakken's ears, a sly grin grew on his face, "You know something, Shego- that just might work! Just might work? Of course it'll work! It's my brains behind this!"

"Doc, no- just no!" Shego stood up and started to leave the restaurant.

Drakken started to beg, "Oh come on Shego, just one little hair! I could make dozens of children for us! A family fit to rule the world!"

"You don't get it, do you?" Shego growled, "Can you for once think of something other than yourself and your stupid plans?"

"Let me think, hmm, NO I CAN'T! Being a villain is who I am!"

Shego stomped her foot and threw a plasma burst at Drakken, "Then why did we get married?" After her rage, Shego began to walk away. Just as she grabbed the door handle, a gloved hand touched hers.

"I married you because I love you." Drakken said calmly, "You know that."

Shego wasn't sure of what to say, "I-I-"

"Shego, for you I'd do anything. But I need time to think on this. If I'm going to be a father, I need to research it more."

Shego felt a soft tear roll down her cheek, "But how long?" She quickly wiped the tear away,

Drakken chuckled a bit, "Please Shego, I'm a super-genius. I'll figure out a plan."

The sidekick slowly began to smile and nod, "Okay, just please don't say it's-"

"A foolproof plan I assure you!" Drakken added in the heat of the moment.

Shego smacked her forehead, "He said it."

Ah, isn't romance something? Even when your dad is a freaky-blue skinned madman, it hits you right here. Yeah, if you couldn't see that, I pounded my chest where my heart is. Alright, moving on- my dad began reading everything he could about being a father; _The Supervillain's Guide to Evil Parenting_,_ Daddy Dearest for Dummies_, and so on and so forth. Even the henchmen were willing to help him out.

"How'd I do, doc?" one crony asked, holding up a baby doll. It seemed he was attempting to dress a diaper.

Drakken took his face out of the book he was reading, only to see the baby doll wearing a funny white turban, "Wrong end-er-um- what's your name again?"

"Bob, boss," The henchman answered.

"Right. Wrong end Bob. If you want to get it right, I can give you a hint. Put the diaper around where _your_ brain is!" Drakken slammed the book on the table. "Gah! What is it with helpers these days? And the books don't help either! Preparing formulas, reading bedtime stories, changing diapers! Why can't it be something simply evil like my death ray or cloning machine?"

"Well whadda ya know, he's actually doing something himself." Shego mocked as she entered the room.

"What is it Shego?" Drakken snarled, "Operation Planned Parenthood is currently in effect, so if you don't mind- we are busy!"

"Are you serious with that lame name, doc? Never mind- I just wanted you to know that I'll be gone for a few days. You know how vacations are. But it should give you enough time to practice before the big day." Shego winked.

Drakken blushed heavily and stammered a bit, "Big day? Shego is there something you're not telling me?"

Shego then let out a loud laugh, "Wouldn't like to know?" Drakken only responded with a serious face. "Alright sheesh, bite my green head off why don't ya? Look, I thought about what you said. You know, about the nine months and all. And I got to thinking; maybe we could adopt a baby instead. I mean sure, it won't look like us, but it'll still be our child. Whadda ya say?"

"Shego that is- the most ingenious plan I have ever heard! Adopting a child… Of course! No labor, no mood swings, no sleeping on the couch- oh- except a mountain of paperwork no doubt. But maybe I could do a little negotiating." Drakken cackled as he pick up a handheld ray-gun and cocked it.

"No doc, I think you should do this-"Shego swallowed the lump in her throat, "legally."

"You mean- by the rules? But I'll get writer's cramp!"

"Relax; get your lackeys to take care of it. And in the meanwhile, you and I can finally raise one of our own." Shego slowly crept onto Drakken's persona and kissed his cheek. "I'll be back in a few days, don't blow anything up while I'm gone please."

"Fo shizzle She-Gizzle." Drakken smirked, purring like a tiger.

"Not the fondest memory to have before a vacation, but I'll let it slide. And NO child-creating experiments, doc, you get me?"

Drakken groaned upon hearing those words, "Alright fine, I give you my word, cross my blue heart and hope to conquer the world!"

"Yeah, fat chance Dr. D." Shego snickered, "Toodles." Shego then instantaneously left.

Drakken let out a sigh, "She's a lippy pain, but what a lovely lippy pain." Drakken hung his head for a second, only to spot something. "What is this?" He plucked a funny looking thread off of his suit, only to let out a childish cheer. "YES! Who's got a strand of Shego's hair? I do! I do! With this- no wait, now you promised her no experiments. That's right, no _child-creating_ experiments. She wouldn't protest if I created a young adult subject. Besides she'll be gone for a few days anyway!"

"But boss." Bob started to question.

"Shut it, Bob! You're fired!" Drakken shouted, "Perhaps this could be just another one of my steps to world conquest if she asks."

"But today is supposed to be my first payday!" Bob whimpered.

"Yes, and I'll make sure your mother pays a visit to your grave if you don't get out of my sight!" Drakken bellowed.

"But I'm a bio-geneticist! Nobody's going to hire me if I lose this job!"

"I don't care." Drakken paused, "A bio-geneticist, you say? Bob, you've just been rehired! And your first new task will be helping me create a weapon. Not just any weapon, but a weapon that has MY EYES!" Suddenly the villain began to smell a familiar fragrance. "It can't be… Is that- coco moo?"

Bob nodded with a smile, "Fresh out of the microwave, doc. Shaken, not stirred."

Drakken put his arm around the frail underling's shoulder, "Bob, does the word promotion mean anything to you?"

Uh oh, this doesn't look good. Well I know how this story goes cause I'm telling it, but you don't know. So it helps if I create a little bit of suspense. But seriously, dad- promoting a moron all because of chocolate milk? Get real, please. Alright, I'm going to take a nap. More story yet to come- yeah- and stuff like that. You're probably catching on to where this story is going to lead though, aren't you?

TO BE CONTINUED… (It just looks awesome when I say it.)


	3. Chapter 2: Trial and Errors: Namely Me

Chapter 2

"Gently does it, Bob." Drakken instructed as the henchman gently placed the strand of hair on a small slab. "Good, now insert it into the machine."

"Aren't you forgetting something, boss?' Bob gestured to the doctor's head.

Drakken shuddered, "Oh, right." He then attempted to pluck one of the hairs from his head. Strangely, it refused to come out, "Oh come on!" Drakken jerked the hair harder, no success. Harder still he pulled on it, only to knock his own feet out from under him. Drakken sat up and gave a frustrated cry as he violently yanked at his hair. Drakken eventually stretched out a small lock of his hair, straining to remove it. Suddenly, there was a loud SNIP- and Drakken landed flat on his back. He growled as he started to get up. That was when he noticed two things; the first being that one stubborn hair, now free from his head and in his hand. The second was Bob, who was holding a pair of scissors. "Thanks." He smirked.

"Just doing my job, sir." Bob smiled as he motioned 'after you' with his hands, "Shall we move on?"

Okay, you see what these two knuckleheads are doing right? Because honestly, this part bores me to death. So I'll cut to the chase; Drakken is trying to create a living thing. NOT a clone, mind you! Clones can't drink soda. Anyway, he's trying to be a father and a mad scientist at the SAME TIME! That's not a bad thing exactly, but it will be if his curiosity kicks in…

"Hey Gary," Bob called to a fellow lackey, "is Dr. D's thing-a-mahoozit plugged in yet?"

"Just- just on the last one." Gary huffed and puffed as he plugged in the last cable, well- right before he passed out that is. The machine lit up brighter than a Christmas tree in August. Roughly translated, it was very bright.

"Oooh!" Drakken chuckled with amusement, "So many lights and buttons! But which one will blend my DNA with Shego's?"

"Well Doc, you could just read the manual." Bob suggested.

"Manual shmanual!" Drakken protested, "They don't call me an evil genius just so I could use someone else's smarts!" Drakken then stepped over to a large green button, "I wonder what this one does."

Bob quickly opened the manual, hoping to find out, "Green button… Green button aka initiations switch?" He read on, "Push this button to splice primary sample with foreign substance. I think it's the right one, boss!"

"Excellent! Now we will witness my greatest plan ever- the creation of true life!" Drakken gave a maniacal laugh for dramatic effect as he slammed his fist down on the button.

Bob looked at the book a little closer, "Notice: For demonstration purposes, we have supplied a sample of alien DNA. If you wish to use an alternative substance, please be sure to switch samples before hitting the green button. Thank you and have a nice day? Doc, shut it off- quick!"

"What's the matter, Bob? Can't stand the sight of a god among men?"

"No boss-it's-"Bob was cut off when the machine suddenly went silent, "Too late…"

"BEHOLD MY CHILD!" Drakken cackled as loud as he could. The machine's chamber let out a hiss and filled the lair with smoke as its doors opened. Drakken looked to see his creation, but to his surprise found the chamber empty. "What? Whe-where is it? So help me, I'm going to sue HenchCo for this!"

"Looking for me, father?" A calm, sullen voice uttered from behind him.

A grin formed on the doctor's face, "As a matter of fact, yes, yes I-" Terror silenced my father as he turned around and beheld the work of his hand. It was a living thing, but it wasn't a man. It was tall and fearsome, with thick sharp scales and viper-like fangs, and a piercing pair of eyes…. The eyes were frightening, but somehow familiar, along with the face. They were its father's eyes of course.

The hideous creature loomed over the doctor, "Well, what do you think?" The beast smiled maliciously.

"I- I-" Drakken sputtered as he slowly stepped back, "No- this isn't right… It can't be right!"

"Dad what's the matter? You're looking at me like I'm a-" the 'thing' saw its reflection on the chamber's glass doors. "Oh…." It rubbed the side of its face, almost as if it was sad. Any sorrow soon turned to rage, "You did this to me!" The creature shouted as it charged towards Drakken.

No wait- is that what happened? Or was it? Oh, okay I remember now. Sorry about that. Comic books will do that too you. Oh and by the way, this freaky dude isn't me. Just thought I'd tell you. Okay, let's see, back up a bit. The chamber doors opened…. Er- dad went in to look at his creation, only to be sent flying against the wall. Out of the chamber burst the freaky dude, just as I described…. Just-well- he couldn't talk… But I don't think he really cared to chat at the moment. Okay- moving on-

Drakken struggled to get back up, "Bob, don't let it escape!"

"I'm on it, doc!" bob shouted as he grabbed one of those shock-staff-thingies and obstructed the rampaging beast's path, "Stop right- there?" Bob just then realized how big the thing was, and started running for his life, shouting, "I tried doc, I really did!"

As the creature stormed throughout that portion of the lair, it began destroying everything. And I mean EVERYTHING! It crippled the machine that made it, trashed more than half of Dr. D's other inventions and stolen items, and even took a bite out of his flying car.

"Whatever you are, stop this instant!" yelled my dad. The creature responded by spitting a chunk of the car at him. It then opened its mouth a let out a horrible shriek, sending a shockwave that tore a hole through the wall. The creature took advantage of this and fled.

I know this is really freaky isn't it? For being a genius dad, you're pretty bon-diggity dumb! Alright, I'll shut up now.

Drakken observed the destruction that now littered the lair and fell hard on his knees, "For a foolproof plan, this is not what I had in mind."

Bob attempted to cheer the distraught doctor up, "It could have been much worse, doc. The green lady could come back-"

"I'm back Doc…" said Shego as she slowly entered the lair, "Doc? Dr. D? If you're trying to get me to say 'honey, I'm home', forget it."

"Early." Bob finished, "Oh man, what are we gonna do?"

Drakken sat and pondered for a moment, only to perk up in an instant, "I've got it! Get the machine up and running if you can! We only have one shot at this! And bring me-er-bring me the manual!"

"Doc?" Shego called, "Doc aren't you a little old for hide and seek? No wait- don't answer that, because I'll die laughing." Shego searched all the main rooms of the lair, but there was still no sign of Drakken. "Okay Doctor D, it's been fun but now it's getting ridiculous!" Suddenly the lair began to tremble and rumble. "What in the name of-"As Shego moved closer to the lab, the shaking grew stronger. She finally approached the laboratory entrance, only to be blinded by a fiery flash of light. As the flash ended, so did the tremors.

"YES!" A voice cheered from within the room, "Success Bob! Well done!" It was Dr. Drakken, who was now holding a small child…

Before I go on, just FYI- that little tyke is me…

"You promised!" Shego growled at her unsuspecting husband, "You said you wouldn't experiment! I go out to get a tan, I come back, and what I do I find? A make-shift baby-factory!"

"Now now, Shego." Drakken tried to calm her down, "You've got it all wrong. Bob and I were testing a teleportation device!" Sweat rolled down his brow as he muttered to himself, "Yeah, that's it."

"Oh really?" Shego blatantly stated, "So you zapped our baby from the adoption agency? Is that it? Or did you bribe some family to give up their child?"

"That's quite enough, Shego- I was merely trying to test the Nano-Womb-" Drakken quickly bit his tongue hard.

Shego's eyes burned with fury, "I KNEW IT! You lied to me!"

"Oh come off it, Shego. It's not the first time I've lied to you, and it won't be the last! And why should you complain? We have a child of our own-"

"Of YOUR own, Drakken! He's not a child, he's- he's a mutation! He can't see things like you and me, he can't feel, he can't-"

That was when I looked at Shego, and then opened my mouth, "Mama…"

Shego gasped and her eyes widened. I could have sworn she was about to cry. By calling her a four-letter word, I had made her regret what she had called me. She grabbed me out of my dad's arms and held me in hers, "He's got my nose. I mean- er-fine, he can stay. But he's your problem, doc."

Drakken smiled as he took me back into his hold, "Well, I think we can both agree that never have I ever had a better problem."

Shego giggled from watching me look around, "I'm letting you go this time. But please, promise me that you won't lie again."

Drakken let out a sigh, "Alright, deal."

"Good." Shego smirked, "Then would you mind telling me how this place got torn up?"

"Er- a minor malfunction." Drakken quivered, "I didn't quite know how to use the machine and I messed some things up."

"For a minute there, I thought you had created some freaky monster that smashed everything ." Shego laughed.

"Yes, wouldn't that be something." Drakken chuckled nervously, "Well Bob, you and I should get this cleaned up. Meanwhile Shego, I need you to steal something."

Shego breathed a sigh of relief, "Finally, something fun to do!"

Drakken beckoned Shego to leave, "Wait in the control room, I'll tell you in there."

Shego scoffed and started to walk out, "Have it your way, Mr. Mom. Just don't keep me waiting."

As soon as she left the room, Drakken bit at his fingernails, "Oh dear, this isn't good. I mean, sure I've lied to her before, that's nothing new! But this-" Drakken looked at the damage done by his 'prototype', and in shame hung his head, "Oh Drew, what have you done?"

Wow, never thought I'd see the day when he'd actually use his real name! Which is funny, because that was the very day I was-er born? Okay so I'm a test-tube baby! So what? At least I didn't turn out like croco-dude who came before me! And I know this story sucks right now, but I'm very cranky at the moment….. (Sigh) I need a naco.

TO BE CONTINUED…. (IF THEY HAVE NACOS! THEY BETTER HAVE NACOS!)


End file.
